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It's Summer...

I haven't posted on here all summer. It hasn't really been for lack of time, because I've spent a lot of time not doing much besides chilling on the internet, reading, or watching TV and then feeling useless for not being "productive." Mostly it's because I haven't been able to find the motivation to come up with a post. If there's one thing I've learned this summer, it's that keeping busy is sort of helpful for me because I feel like I'm actually contributing something and I have less time to feel like shit. Or if I feel like shit anyway, it makes it easier to distract myself. But I won't lie and say I haven't really enjoyed the freedom to lounge around all day and the lack of school-related stress. And I have done things. I've read and written a lot, I'm in another play (a Shakespeare comedy showcase which plays for one weekend in August), I worked for my dad and grandparents at the beginning of summer, I've visited a lot of colleges with my sister, I went swimming on the 4th of July because it was too hot to go outside during the day, I've done some sort of crafty things, I went to a minor league baseball game with my family yesterday. Even the bad things that have happened have had some bright sides to them, I suppose. My uncle died, but it meant I got to see family a lot more than usual and now at least he isn't suffering anymore. My first major relationship ended, but now at least I don't feel like shit for not keeping in touch well or being awful at relationships.

I was a summer camp counselor again last week and I really enjoyed it, even though I got sick halfway through the week and I came back with bags under my eyes that looked like bruises from the lack of sleep combined with constant activity. This year my campers were mostly a year older than my campers last year, going into eighth grade although I had a couple going into seventh. I had fewer clique problems because they were all really social with each other since a bunch of them knew each other from school. (They all arrived within like 40-45 minutes of each other and all their parents wanted to chat, it was sort of a madhouse.) The only downside to this is that they were also really loud (which was hard to deal with when I started losing my voice) and didn't always listen well. I felt bad because I wanted to talk to them more and come across friendlier but I couldn't because I had a sore throat and then my voice started dying. I was still sort of crap at bonding with other counselors, but I'm starting to get to know them a little better now so maybe I'll get there eventually.

There were lots of themes at camp this week: ukuleles, song parodies, llamas. We actually had a real llama visit camp on Staff Talent Night, it was super incredible and no one was expecting it, even though we'd all been treated to the story of how it had happened once years ago. I bonded with some campers (one of whom was in my cabin last year) over Doctor Who and Harry Potter and lanyards, so that was really fun. I now follow one of them on tumblr haha. It was my sister's last year as a camper, which was really weird, and I cried even though she didn't. She says she wants to come back as counselor though so it'd be super cool if that happened. Even though there were some downsides to the week, I still had a blast and it went a lot better than I thought it might. It was just a great week.

It's really weird that summer is moving along so steadily. My sister only has like 3 weeks left til she goes back to school. I keep telling myself I have like a month and a half but it's probably less because I have to go back a bit early for job training. I try not to think about it too much because even though there have been moments when this summer really sucked, I'm not sure I'm ready to go back to homework and studying and school stress. I like hanging out and having the freedom to do fun things a lot of the time instead of having to like write an essay first. So I guess I'll just try to soak up the rest of summer while I can.

Annual Birthday Post

So today (technically yesterday) was my birthday and I decided to post about it because I think I usually do. It was a pretty good day overall. I read, watched the first two episodes of the third season of Being Human US (I have the entire season recorded and am starting to tackle it), went shopping with my dad for my sister and my mom (and myself- I got two movies, peach iced tea packets, and a Dropkick Murphys CD from Best Buy), went to dinner at Macaroni Grill, and then saw Iron Man 3. I enjoyed the movie, even though my dad was sort of meh about it. I liked it better than the second Iron Man movie, but not as much as the first. I liked the plot more than in the second, liked some of the twists, and enjoyed seeing a bit of role reversal with Tony and Pepper. Also, probably due to the Being Human, I kept thinking vampires or something.

I think my dad felt bad I didn't have much to unwrap (the only presents I unwrapped this year were the TARDIS mug and rainbow bow tie from my sister- both of which I picked out at Evangeline's), but I didn't mind much as long as I got stuff. And since I picked out a bunch of my stuff, I know I'll get things I like. Also apparently my mom is going to order me a Homestuck sweatshirt but hasn't yet because she wants to make sure what size I want and held off since she knew it wouldn't get here in time anyway. Turning nineteen isn't as weird as turning eighteen was last year, since it's not a big milestone or anything. But on the plus side, Macey and I are both going to be nineteen for the next nineteen days, which is sort of weird and awesome. Also we texted a good amount this morning, which was nice since we hadn't as much yesterday.

For Mother's Day and mine and my sister's combined birthday weekend we might be going up to Tahoe, which would be fun. Also I might have an opportunity to go rafting next weekend, and then Fanime is the weekend after that. So far, being home has been nice because I haven't had homework or to get up early, but I've had enough to do to keep me from getting bored (unpacking, going to my grandparents' house and getting a haircut, reorganizing my closet, shopping for various reasons). I have been missing people from school though. Glad I'll be seeing some of them at Fanime.

Also it's 1:45 in the morning and I don't know how it got this late, last time I checked the clock it was like midnight. Whoops. I think I'll conclude the post here.

End-of-Year Musings

So I've been done with school for the past couple days (had my one in-class final last Friday and then submitted my last final paper on Sunday), just chilling in the apartment waiting around for graduation ceremonies like Lavender Grad and Multicultural Grad in a couple days. Since my last post was basically a sum of the semester, I thought maybe I'd put together a collection of reflections on the past year.

Significant things that happened:
I changed my major. I didn't expect to since I was so confident at the start of college about the program I had chosen, but I'm really glad I did because I'm excited for my classes and I enjoy doing my homework and I'm more super excited about history than maybe I had realized. And I'd rather have a history-related job than a job as an ambassador or something (which is what people generally tend to guess at when you tell them you're majoring in International Studies) or at an embassy or NGO. When I first changed I had a professor tell me something along the lines of "Well, that's good because college is about finding your passion" and I thought it was sort of cheesy because I felt like it was more about the classes sounding more interesting than ~finding my passion~ but I feel like I've gotten more passionate about history over the past semester. Also I actually sort of enjoy doing historical research papers, so that's a plus.

I've also gotten more passionate about French this semester, maybe due to taking a really interesting upper division French course. Which brings me to my next point: I changed my mind about study abroad. Several times, actually. I started the year thinking that I would be spending all of next year in Ireland. I'm ending the year thinking that I'll be spending next spring in Paris. In between, I thought I would spend next spring in Italy. I've started drifting away from that mostly because I've been getting excited about French again, honestly, and I really want the opportunity to get immersed and really improve my French. Besides, I'm considering doing the summer language study program in Italy next summer, if the cost isn't a problem. I think that would really be better at teaching me some Italian at a faster pace, which is more what I want. I'm still hesitant to tell people "Yes, I'm going to study in France next spring" because I feel guilty about changing my mind so much and I'm me and I don't like committing to things in case I change my mind, but it's getting to a point where I need to be committed. Like by next semester when I start cross-cultural training.

I got into a relationship. After the confession of mutual appreciation last spring (memorably, in the rain on a small ferris wheel), we finally stopped dallying around and made it official in early November I think. Which makes it almost six months, which is bizarre. The thought had occurred to me that I might be more willing to start a relationship once I was in college, with a larger pool of people to choose from than at my tiny high school and away from my parents' nosy questions (they're sort of weird about relationship stuff- I haven't told them but it's not that unusual because my sister only told them about like 2 of her 6 or so boyfriends so I'm not the only one). And I had several people ask me out last year and it was weird every time because I sort of never expect that someone will be romantically interested in me. Yet here we are, it's been almost six months, we renewed our tumblr vows last weekend, we text constantly over vacations, we're getting better about not missing each other's mouths when kissing, we've improved a lot about displays of affection, we shared our "secret" livejournals with each other (not this one), and generally things are going well. It still sort of boggles me sometimes but I'm not complaining at all, it's actually really nice.

I lived in an on-campus apartment. It's sort of halfway between living in a dorm and a real apartment. You still have RAs, meal plan (albeit smaller since you have a kitchen), colorful door decorations, a keyswipe entry system, everyone in the building is also a college student, the hallways look sort of like dorm hallways, and it's further from stuff on campus but you still feel the safety of campus. On the other hand, you have more roommates, individual rooms, a kitchen and living room, bathrooms shared between a couple people rather than the entire floor, a bit of a feeling of greater independence, and more space (which is both good and bad because you don't feel as claustrophobic when you're there all weekend but there's also more room for clutter). I liked it a lot, and had a much better experience than trying to live with a roommate in a double last year. I also think that having a super messy roommate made me a bit cleaner since I got fed up sometimes and went on kitchen-cleaning sprees. I've definitely gained a lot of experience doing dishes and learned how awesome decent dish racks can be. More minor things I've learned include: toaster ovens are magical but if you don't have one you can make toast in the oven, be sure to dilute vinegar with water if you're trying to use it to dissolve spilled soda on tile (the floor is still sticky after being mopped about 15 times omfg), home haircuts are messy and get everywhere (especially if people don't clean up properly afterward), and sometimes it's really nice when roommates just go in their rooms and close the door because then you have time and space to yourself.

I was on club exec boards. I was super involved in clubs last year but this year I stepped it up and got involved in running them. It was more work than I expected (especially for UCC) but I learned a lot and it was a super valuable experience which probably helped contribute to the fact that I have a job for next semester. I'll be working at the Multicultural Center, which is where most of the clubs meet, and they wanted relevant experience so yeah I think it helped a lot with that. Next semester I'll actually be president of a club but we're hoping to find new exec members during the semester since both of our returning eboard members are going abroad in the spring.

There were also minor landmarks like presenting a paper at an on-campus conference (and winning a money prize for it) or the death of the last remaining benefactor of the couple that set up funds for my scholarship program. I didn't make as many new friends in terms of sheer numbers as last year (probably since I wasn't starting from scratch) but I made friends with some off-campus local Homestucks and a bunch of seniors who are graduating in a few days.

I'm halfway through college (which is super weird) and I know how to write long research papers with only minor stress (the trick is doing research ahead of time and spacing things out so you don't cram it all at the last minute), how to navigate (mostly) the red-tape nightmare that is Student Life and its associated properties (lookin at you ASUOP), what it's like to be in student clubs and run them, how to cook things both in a microwave and easy meals for a kitchen, how awesome the 99 cent store and Dollar Tree are when it comes to buying groceries, the ups and downs of having vs. not having a car on campus, apartment vs. dorm life, and ups and downs of roommate living. I've seen tuition go up both years I've been here and friends not return in the fall. I've made tons of friends and drifted away somewhat from a lot of them while getting super close with others. The people I'm close with have changed significantly from last year compared to this. I still have tons of stuff to learn both academically and life-wise, but these are a sampling of things I now know that I did not when I graduated high school.

It's bizarre to think sometimes that I spent years waiting for college and now it's here and it's awesome and I love it (most of the time) but I'm halfway through with my bachelor's degree. People said the spring semester would fly by and I don't feel that it did, really, since I've had time fly a lot faster and there were times this semester seemed to drag on and on, but I still don't feel quite ready for it to be summer for four months, or for me to be halfway done with college. Makes me think about grad school.

Life Update and Study Abroad Musings

Welp, it's been months since I last posted. Oh well. So I have now changed my major to History (with minors in French and International Studies) and I've been enjoying all my classes this semester, they're generally interesting. I have some minor complaints (my Mexican History class has way too much group work, my Honors class is kind of a joke, my Native American History professor is sort of meh but it's fine since we mostly watch documentaries anyway) but overall it's been pretty good, if a busier semester than I expected. I had either an essay or a midterm every week in February and I think I have some manner of important assignment due every week until the end of the semester, at which point I'll have finals (mostly final essays I think), but this is a three day weekend so I get some break. And then all sorts of club stuff going on. Not as much UCC stuff as last semester since there are fewer events in the Spring, but our Gender Umbrella Club treasurer has pretty much stopped showing up to meetings and been generally unreliable so that's a bit frustrating.

Social-wise it's been pretty good also. I definitely had a better Valentine's Day this year and I think I'm slowly getting the hang of this relationship thing (it's been almost five or six months, depending on how you count- dear lord). I got all caught up with Once Upon a Time and so I've been able to join my friends' weekly Once Upon a Time nights. Also I've expanded my social circle a bit as I've become more involved with Pacific Feminists so that's nice (even if several of my friends are graduating). I had to go home for various reasons like five weeks in a row (seeing my sister's concert, going to my cousin's baby shower, Spring Break, the weekend I was planning to get a haircut but then I locked my computer cord in the Multicultural Center and all my friends were gone so I just went home anyway, getting a haircut), so that put a bit of a damper on my weekend plans, but I think I'll be on-campus the rest of the semester hopefully (not that there's that much left) so that'll be a nice break.

At this point it's mostly planning for next semester, since finals start April 26. So we're starting the election process for new officers in UCC and probably soon in PRIDE, planning next year's events in Gender Umbrella. I signed up for classes yesterday. Next semester I'm taking 16 units and 6 classes- La Francophonie, History of Alcohol and Intoxicants, Creative Writing, the honors seminar, Senior Project Proposal (which I'm doing before study abroad so I can maybe do research while abroad), and Cross-Cultural Training I. Also I've been figuring out housing, which was less complicated than expected. I'm staying in the same place next semester (same room even) with my current roommate and two of my other friends. It'll be interesting to see how things go with the two new roommates, and how they handle Mitchie's mess. And then after that semester I'll be studying abroad which brings me to the original reason I made this post.

I thought I had it figured out that I was going to Ireland. But then I started reconsidering the language aspect, and how relatively isolated Ireland was compared to the rest of Europe, and so at this point I have it narrowed down to two programs- one in Perugia, Italy and one in Paris, France. At first I was having a lot of trouble finding any French programs I liked, but I talked with my French teacher and she gave me a great comparison of the different programs in France, which narrowed it down to two for me, and then looking at the courses offered narrowed it down to Paris. In the past I've been a bit wary of Paris because it's more touristy and I felt like a smaller city would give me a more authentic experience. But 1) I'm not really interested in the programs my school offers in smaller cities and 2) Paris has a ton of great cultural opportunities and museums and things right there. Also the Metro. I really like underground public transport.

I thought I was almost settled on Italy but now all the authority figures I talk to have been encouraging me to go to France. I'm interested in France for the language aspect because I'd love to improve my skill level. I've also wanted to learn Italian for literally years but haven't been anywhere that offered classes. But then I'm sort of worried I'd have trouble getting as much of a cultural experience if there was more of a language barrier. I should also keep in mind that my school does offer a summer Italian immersion program. I'm trying not to let myself be biased in favor of Italy just because Macey is going there but that's really difficult.

So it's like- do I want to improve a language I already know or learn a new one? I'd be fine with either. Do I want to live in a big city with lots of opportunities or in a smaller university town that's less touristy and more intimate? Both programs have interesting classes with cool field trips and interesting program excursions. Both include housing options other than homestays (which is useful because homestays kind of scare me even though everyone says they're the best way to go) and have neat opportunities in the city. Both places have excellent food and are fairly centrally-located for travel to other parts of Europe. I'm also mildly worried with both that I would be too surrounded by Americans all the time (less so with Paris though because there are French people and people of other nationalities literally everywhere and also I wouldn't be as restricted by a language barrier). Earlier today even I was leaning more toward Italy, until I looked more closely at that particular Paris program. I was thinking that Italy was my gut choice and France was the more logical choice but now I don't know anymore. Perugia has a Roman Civilization class that goes on a field trip to Pompeii but Paris has an art history class that is literally all about pieces of art in different museums, with class being held in the museums. Perugia has classes about archaeology and Italian food but Paris has classes about gender studies and one where the point of the class is that you're in a play.

Ugh I hate making decisions. Maybe when I get a chance to talk to one of the higher-up-than-peer-advisors (and hopefully more helpful) people in the study abroad office she'll give me a more unbiased opinion than the two people I've talked to recently who both had reasons to be biased in favor of France. At least I have the summer to decide (also to hopefully get a job and/or volunteer somewhere, but that's a whole other issue).

Christmas Break, and the New Semester

So it's a new year now, and I start the new semester tomorrow morning when I have an alarm set to go off at 8:30. We survived the Mayan Apocalypse! I got straight As last semester (first time none of them were A minuses). Christmas break seemed to go by fast, though not quite as fast as last semester, possibly because we did so much traveling over the holidays and I wasn't able to spend as much time at home as usual getting bored and ready to go back to school.

My sister and I both had three weeks off, except that I got off a week before she did and went back a week before she did. She doesn't start school til the 14th. Because of this, my first week back was pretty chill. She was at school and my parents were mostly working so I watched all the current episodes of Teen Wolf (getting through the first season in a day) and wrote and read. I was going to start re-watching Being Human UK but I only got through one episode before we had to kick it into high gear on shopping and wrapping and then leave. When we got back, I caught up on Doctor Who with my mom and watched the first ten episodes of Once Upon a Time with my sister and eventually my mom (she sat down around and joined us around the third episode, also, we watched all these episodes in one night). I saw the Hobbit before we left for Christmas (we went to the 11 pm showing while our tipsy parents saw Skyfall, and we got out of the theater at like 2 in the morning) and Les Mis the day before I went back to school. Both were excellent movies.

Once again, my sister and I did most of the shopping. We'd gotten a head start on Black Friday so we only had to do about half as much, but we still had a couple extended shopping trips. My parents, on the other hand, were procrastinating last minute shoppers who joined the rush shopping on Christmas Eve. My sister and I also did most of the wrapping. I wrapped and she put awkward-shaped things in bags, and our living room was covered in presents by the time we were done. We actually didn't have a tree this year, because we knew we weren't spending Christmas at our house and expected to be out of the state a few days beforehand (we did have decorations and lights, though, which was nice). Our plans changed when my cousin threw a fit about wanting to spend Christmas morning at his house and so we ended up doing Christmas in Colorado a couple days after actual Christmas. Initially we had planned to drive there with my grandparents, but they got a later start than we would have liked (plus an additional day's delay due to snow) so we spent Christmas Eve and morning with family in Nevada. It was pretty nice, especially because we had a delicious breakfast (eggs benedict) and stayed for Christmas dinner. The only thing was that we'd split our presents in half for our two Christmases so we didn't get as much stuff as usual.

It started snowing Christmas afternoon and we left after dinner, driving through the snow for about six hours to get to a hotel on the other end of Nevada. We made it to Colorado the next day, arriving at about 10 or 11:30 at night. Based on the amount of time it took driving there (in the snow) versus back (with clear roads), it seems that snow on the roads adds about an hour or two each day. Our first day there we mostly hung around the house and my little cousins attacked mine and my sister's faces with makeup and our hair with random accessories and food. My grandparents arrived the next day, and everyone hurried to finish up wrapping so we could have our second Christmas the next day. This one was more satisfying, because we got significantly more presents. I got unbelievable amounts of tea. I am never putting tea on my Christmas list again because I got eight boxes from my aunt and uncle and a collection of six smaller boxes from my sister (not to mention tea I'd gotten from my grandma at Thanksgiving). When we got home I made a pyramid and took a picture. I also got bulk numbers of mittens and socks, and some really cool Joker converse. With the gift cards I got, I went shopping after Christmas for clothes, mostly adding to my sweater collection. My cousin Patrick was absolutely thrilled to get a phone, and my other cousins got an xbox (with Kinect, which their parents will probably actually let them play because it involves moving around).

Another notable moment of the trip was getting family pictures taken for my grandparents' 50th anniversary. Deciding which pictures to buy in which combinations took about 2 hours longer than it took to actually take the pictures. Afterward we went to a cool pub-ish restaurant called Coopersmith's that people thought we had gone to for their 40th anniversary but which no one really recognized. We played a cool card game I got called Gloom (the goal is to make your characters as miserable as possible and then kill them off), tried to make a ghost baby on the Sims, and rang in the New Year playing the Stock Market Game (my sister and I won). We left on New Year's Day so my sister could get back in time to sign up for her sign language class on the 3rd. Despite the clearer weather, it was colder this time around and got below zero at several points (my grandparents apparently went to 19 below when they came back a day after us) so that when we got home to 40 degrees it felt really warm. Highlights of the trip back include getting Hobbit food (and trading cards) at a truck stop Denny's, watching Doctor Who most of the day one day, and getting my sister to play more hidden object games with me. We also had to deal with the flat tire on the truck we'd left at my cousin's house (we used it to bring them a couch and left it there when we drove to Colorado), which was a pain but at least we didn't have to come back over the weekend and got my keys back. I don't have the truck so far this semester, because now my sister has her license and my dad thought it would be more useful for her to drive it to school each day instead of me only occasionally using it to drive home.

I got back to school Saturday for a Pride/Gender Umbrella exec board meeting planning out events for the new semester. It also involved creating a superhero of yourself based on qualities or what you're good at or whatever. My superhero persona is named Sir Jonathan Redford Bombast Lewis Figglesworth III, my power is getting really enthusiastic about random things (and shooting enthusiasm beams), I fight my enemies by talking at them until they get bored and leave me alone, and my costume is a Victorian suit, possibly with a cape and/or mask. After the meeting, I hung out with my friends again for the first time in three weeks, and we made too much pasta, played Gloom, and had fun. Also, we now have an apartment Snape (he's a life-size cardboard cut-out and last night I kissed him on the cheek because we hung mistletoe above his head).

I think that at this point I've decided to change my major to history (swapping around my history and international studies major/minor situations) because it sounds like more fun, gives me more time on campus since I won't have to be abroad for a whole year (I'll still go for a semester, probably next spring, still thinking Ireland), and makes more sense with my current career plans. I don't even have to change my schedule for next semester. So I'll probably be getting on that in the first week of school, in addition to checking around to see if there's a job I might want. This semester my classes are Native American History, French Cinema (in French), People's History of Mexico, band, and the honors seminar. Although I'm sad about the addition of morning classes this semester, I'm still looking forward to my first day. Hopefully it'll be a good semester!

It's Been a While...

So, well, I posted at the beginning of the semester and now the semester's almost done with. I've not been so great at keeping this journal updated lately (obviously) so if anyone reading this is interested in seeing more from me more often, I'll pimp my tumblr (spookygondolier.tumblr.com). Mostly I reblog stuff but I have fun tags and sometimes I post life updates. I did daily updates for NaNo in November (I won again! I had a novel about rubbish college freshmen). I spend way too much time on that website.

It's been a pretty good semester, busy, and it went by SO FAST I can't believe. I didn't get a job, again, though I could really use one because I'm constantly broke and since I'm living in an apartment this year we actually spend money on food and things and go out more often since everyone has cars. Maybe next semester? Probably not, but I can dream. Maybe I'd get a job if I applied more places, but applications and interviews are hard and scary and my standards are too high and I don't have a ton of time anyway. I'm only taking 14 units, definitely fewer than last year, but I'm also on the exec board of two clubs and I have club meetings four days a week, plus some outside obligations. I'm actually involved in sort of a lot on campus. And, you know, keeping up with homework and the seemingly endless stream of research papers and essays (this is what I get for picking a social sciencey major). On the subject of majors, I also added history and French minors, so that's official now. Seems like everyone I know is freaking out about grades right now, but it's been a pretty decent semester for me academically.

It's been a fantastic semester for me socially. Living with friends is so much better than living with strangers, even if one of my roommates was sort of a stranger and is kind of weird and passive aggressive about cleaning and always disappears on the weekends. But I've spent so much time with Mitchie (my roommate) and Macey (my unofficial roommate- also we're dating now? Everyone keeps telling us so. I think they're really fed up with us and our unassertive nonsense, though I can't blame them, it's really bad and we are ridiculous but it's sort of fun to be ridiculous except when it's not). Good times staying up til ridiculous hours of the night lying on the floor, lots of nonsensical random comments, sprawling all over each other, discovering that I make a good human heater/blanket and Macey is a good human pillow, being loud and weird to the point where our neighbors probably think we have really weird sex all the time, coming up with weird in jokes. We're just weird in general, but it's wonderful. Often it's hard to believe I managed to make such good friends.

Also we went to some Homestuck meetups the last weekend of October and that was also super fun. Meeting people, dressing up, going to a haunted house place in Sacramento and then going to a tea party in the park the next day. I really enjoyed it.

Halloween was sort of fun. It was on a Wednesday, so I had class, but I went to class in costume (as a skeleton pirate- I added skeleton makeup later after class), which people seemed to like. I had a pumpkin latte. After a brief exec board meeting, a bunch of people came back to our apartment and we hung out and I watched Hocus Pocus, which I'd been wanting to rewatch and which was fantastic. Everyone else was talking, but I enjoyed the movie. Later we all ended up on Omegle video under the Homestuck tag, because two of my friends were dressed as Homestuck characters, one put on a cosplay, and it was easy to convert my skeleton makeup to Kurloz makeup. It was a chill (well, mostly, it was kind of crazy when we had like eight people in the apartment) and fun Halloween. Also we had lots of candy, so that was good.

Thanksgiving was nice. I had nearly the whole week off because all but one of my classes were canceled on Monday and Tuesday. Macey and I texted almost constantly all break, it was really funny because usually I can never keep up a texting conversation. On Saturday we got Mitchie in on it too with a group text. We had Thanksgiving at our house, and I missed most of the cleaning, but not all. We were supposed to have a bunch of people, but most of them canceled so it was just our family and our grandparents. I managed to be an utter disaster in the kitchen, so fortunately I wasn't the one doing most of the cooking. My sister and I did some Black Friday shopping at like 11:30 Thursday night at Target, and then some more on Friday afternoon so we could get a head start on Christmas shopping for people, so I could get stuff for my friends (which they opened already because they are impatient and easily tempted, but I didn't mind at all), and because I needed to observe a mall for an essay. On Saturday we saw Wreck It Ralph, which was adorable and great. So many good movies coming out in December, agh, I just want to see all of them. I saw some other good movies at home, like Elf, Bridesmaids, and Sleepy Hollow. It was a nice break. I thought it would be long, but it ended up going by pretty quickly.

Last weekend was Mitchie's 21st birthday, which is funny because they still act like a six year old most of the time. We picked up our friend from Elk Grove, their parents took us out to lunch, we dragged all the mattresses into the living room to make a giant bed again (but bigger this time because we also had our Saturday friend Everett come over), we bought a bunch of novelty sodas and a couple alcohols at BevMo, tried the alcohol (Peach Lambic was good the pomegranate beer was gross), passed the sodas around in a circle later as we played Apples to Apples, hung out with people, told a scary story before bed and then spent the rest of the night and next day freaking each other out about it, and had fondue for breakfast the next morning. It was pretty great.

So now finals week is coming up. I only have one final, but two more papers to go. I've started on both, so hopefully it shouldn't be too overwhelmingly stressful as long as I manage to actually focus on not get distracted by Tumblr or random Youtube videos like I did tonight. I think the collective atmosphere of panic and studying frenzy should help motivate me, so there's that.

The Back To School Post

Welp. I've been back at school for a while now. Starting early wasn't too bad, though training took a lot longer than I expected (mostly because the exec board talks a lot and gets off subject). UCC stuff in general is turning out to be really time-consuming. It was nice moving in when no one else was, though carrying everything up three flights of stairs sucked. Also I had to get new sheets because I have a full bed this year. And then the mattress pad we got from Target had a rip, so I had to exchange it for another one. Oh well, it worked out in the end. One of my friends couldn't make it back to school this year (financial reasons I think), so there's only three of us in the apartment. It works out great that we have a spare bed, though, because people have definitely used it (such as our honorary roommate, who lives on the other side of campus).

Living in an apartment is great! I get my own room, only have to share a bathroom with one other person, and we have couches and a kitchen. We can cook our own meals and I don't have to have dining hall food all the time, though buying groceries is not super fun. The apartment is on-campus housing, but it's across the bridge on North Campus so it takes a lot longer to get to everything than living in the dorms in the middle of campus. At least I'm getting exercise (especially carrying my saxophone around two days a week because all my classes including band are consecutive). Also, it's nice living with people I actually get along with. We talk to each other, act like animals on the living room floor, don't just sit on opposite sides of the room and ignore each other etc. So much better than last year. We're all goobers and it's awesome.

My friend and I thought our other roommate was dead or kidnapped last week though. We hadn't seen her since early in the morning, all her stuff was in her room, we couldn't reach her by cell phone because she'd left it here, the shower curtain was halfway closed, it was like 10:30 at night... We called the RA who called public safety and it turned out that she'd just been hanging out with friends. Then we had a conversation about communication, though I don't know if it'll change much because she apparently only rarely carries her cell phone around. There are some slight issues we have with her, but hopefully we'll address them in a roommate meeting eventually. Overall we all get along pretty well, though.

Last weekend we had our would-be roommate come visit school. We picked her up and sang Disney songs and RENT, got lost a couple times, played at an awesome park, all slept in a pile on two mattresses in the living room,stayed up til four in the morning, group-read a book at a different park while eating popsicles, watched an utterly ridiculous Japanese "horror" movie, and just generally had a great time. The weekend before that, we met someone new and started writing a really weird Homestuck mpreg fanfiction about the second coming. The weekend before that I went up to Tahoe to visit family for Labor Day, hung out, got an awesome Toy Story party hat from my grandpa's birthday celebration, and found out that my cousin is pregnant. I've been having some pretty good weekends so far.

School's going pretty well. I've been busier than I expected, taking fewer units, but it's been manageable. Part of it is probably because I'm on the exec board of two different clubs and have five club/exec board meetings a week. All the clubs are going great, though! They've all got awesome stuff planned. As far as classes go, I'm taking World Geography, Historical Imagination, Women in US History, band, and the honors seminar on Creativity and Knowledge. Historical Imagination is great, it's a really loosely-structured history class that's basically just like- go out and history! Enjoy it! The creativity seminar is fun, too, though it always makes me want to write. Geo is okay, but not terribly interesting and has map quizzes ugh. Women in US History is interesting, and has a teacher who I enjoyed from last semester. I have lots of research projects, but for my Historical Imagination paper I'm doing Jack the Ripper. I'm actually pretty excited for it.

I don't have a job as of now. I applied at the Multicultural Center, but apparently the competition was tough and I didn't get a job. I haven't actually applied anywhere else yet. Don't know if I want to work at the library. I keep thinking that it might be good to get a job as a tutor, but I'm not sure how to go about it. Bleh, I don't know. I feel like I'm busy enough as it is, but I could probably handle a job and I know my parents (mostly my dad) think I should get one. We'll see.

So that's a general overview of what's been happening in my life recently. Hopefully in the future I'll try to keep my journal updated more than once a month so I don't have to make huge monster posts trying to recall everything I did in the last four or five weeks. Hm.

Summer Adventures

Summer is winding down rather faster than I'd like, but it's been fairly exciting the past couple days. The family didn't end up going to Tahoe last week because we were lazy, wanted to watch the Olympics, and didn't want to deal with thunderstorms. However, my sister and I went up by ourselves on Monday! It was fun, and we had some interesting experiences. For example, there's a canoe in storage under our cabin and we decided to pull it out because we wanted to go canoeing. Well, it was tied to some posts and kept getting caught on bits of wood, not to mention it's heavy, so it took about half an hour to get out and my poor sister was stuck under the cabin for like twenty minutes getting claustrophobic. We finally got it out and discovered that it was bigger than our car. So much for shoving it in the back and taking it to the lake.

So then we tried to figure out how we were going to transport it. We had straps to tie it to the top of the car, but getting it up there was a problem. We had the SUV, so it was kind of tall, the canoe was heavy and enormous, and I have noodle arms which are not good at heavy lifting. The canoe did not make it to the top of the car. Taking a break, we drove down to the lake to see what the water was like and get ice cream. Turns out it was crazy windy, chilly, and the water was way too choppy to consider canoeing. So we spent another fifteen or twenty minutes getting the canoe back under the cabin.

Later, we got hungry for dinner. We hadn't brought up any food, figuring we were only planning to be there overnight and so we could just find something. Turns out almost literally everything was expired. We found soup that expired in 2001. Obviously we weren't going to eat that, so we drove down to town. We went to Safeway to get breakfast food for the morning and ended up getting Chinese food from the deli, which we proceeded to eat in the back of the car like hobos. We had the backseats down and had a little picnic, it was great. Especially when people walking by in the parking lot gave us funny looks through the windows or made awkward eye contact with my sister. Then we stopped at Ross, took the long way back (I turned the wrong way like three times), and watched kid movies and cleared out all the expired food. It wasn't actually that weird just us two being up at the cabin. Mostly the differences were that we could change in the living room and spend an hour at Ross without our dad complaining. And eat in the back of the car, I doubt he would've done that. Anyway, I had a good time, even if it wasn't exactly what I was expecting.

We got back Tuesday afternoon, then had a few hours to hang out before we were planning to go up to our grandparents' house because I had a hair appointment this morning. We actually ended up leaving about three hours later than planned because our parents decided to go to Olive Garden and our mom took forever getting home from work. Then today I got my hair cut in the morning, we went to Kohl's because my grandma had a 30% off coupon, and we had to hurry back so my sister could pick up her class schedule. There was a fair amount of speeding involved and we were frighteningly low on gas by the time we got there, but we made it in time.

Yeah, my sister starts school tomorrow. It's crazy, it feels way too early, like it should still be summer. These past couple days have not seemed like the last days of summer. I've still got a couple weeks, though I'm moving in a week early because I'm secretary for a club and they want to do officer training before classes start. I don't mind, because I won't have to worry about homework or anything and I've been on break for four months, so one week doesn't make that much difference. Slightly bummed because it'd be nice to have one more week at home, but oh well. I need to email my adviser about changing classes, since I'm rearranging my major/minor situation and I'm supposed to check before changing my schedule. I've been putting this off since like May it's ridiculous. I think I'll be taking 14 units (3 classes, a seminar, and band) and getting a job instead of taking another class and bringing myself to the max of 18 units. I could use some money, and I didn't use any work-study last year, so I should probably use some this year. We'll see how that works out.

Also, fun note, I am absolutely terrible driving in places I don't know well. I get lost almost every time. I've gotten pathetically accustomed to u-turning in parking lots and wherever I can find because I've turned the wrong way or gone too far. It's not very efficient, but I guess it's an adventure.

Mostly this is about Sugarloaf

So yeah, life. Since my last post, Sugarloaf has come and gone, and it was thoroughly awesome. I really enjoyed being a counselor and would love to do it again. It's definitely different than being a camper, though. There's more responsibility but also a bit more free time. Instead of arts classes, you have counselor meetings, but after those are done you have free time provided you don't have to move things or rehearse for counselor talent night (which is the day after camp starts, so you really need to get it planned and rehearsed fairly quickly). Speaking of which, it's awesome being in counselor talent night. You get to know all of the acts in advance, you get to be in multiple acts, and you sort of set the theme for the week. This year our running theme was Olympics and, sure enough, the silk screen design at the end of the week was of Olympic planking (one of our skits). I also played Pirates of the Caribbean on my saxophone, which was a bit nerve-wracking given I was doing it in front of several music teachers and felt I had to do well to impress the band campers, but it went really well.

During free time, counselors can also go visit classes and electives, which is cool because you get to see what everyone's working on for the end of the week. The oldest band played a song I'd played in the fall with my school band, which was awesome. There are also two days counselors get to go to the lake, which was fun. The second time it was a bit cloudy and so I didn't go in the water, but I did the first time in addition to just lounging about. Also, we stopped at a convenience store beforehand which turned out to be rather, well, convenient because we decided to do Counselor Secret Santa and you could buy your buddy stuff there, in addition to buying treats for your cabin on the last night. I got my buddy spam, brownies, a beef jerky/cheese pack, and floss. Mine gave me an origami seal and pet rock.

My cabin was... interesting. I was working with kids going into seventh grade, so mostly about twelve, and only one of the ten had been to camp before. I had to explain everything, make sure they knew where they were going, and try to encourage them to get involved in stuff instead of just hanging out in the cabin. I had some drama as the week went on, though. There were some strong personalities that didn't get along and opinionated campers that disagreed. They changed their camper skit about twice at the last minute and as a result it was rather disorganized. Also, two girls ended up moving from one side of the cabin to the other because they didn't like the girls on the first side, and there was just general social drama. Some girls accused another of stealing their stuff. There were girls who had a habit of ganging up on people in incidents that usually ended in tears. I also had a camper who took Benadryl for allergies, had a bad reaction, and ended up sick and threw up three times during rec on the last day.

I got to be part of all sorts of fun traditions, like having a sundae made on top of my head because I was a first year counselor. My girls actually made mine the tallest! Apparently it was very cylindrical. I didn't get as much on my face as some others, and it wasn't as cold as I expected. Honestly, the cold hose to wash off my head at the end was the worst part. Also, I got to be dressed like a very mismatched superhero for counselor dress-up night, go sit with other cabins for meals during counselor switch, keep people entertained during meal assemblies by manning the mike when I was going last, and be in the counselor-staff volleyball game (which we lost, though not by much, and which I hated). It was so much fun to be back at camp again, and interesting to get another perspective of it this time.

Since I got back, I haven't done much. Wandered around downtown Placerville with my sister while she took pictures and then spent a couple hours in a used bookstore, which was a great afternoon. My dad finally got the second shelf up in my closet and, now that I have greatly increased storage space, I've finally got my room cleaned up. While I was at camp I was sorted into Gryffindor at Hogwarts_Elite, so I've been seeing what I can do in that community. I've been reading a travel memoir about a guy who hitch-hiked around Ireland with a fridge (this, and a book about a Sherlock Holmes-themed dog mystery are what I got at the book store), which is really amusing. Finally got my check from camp cashed today.

Oh, and the play finished! The closing matinee was yesterday. There weren't as many people as expected on the first two days of the last weekend, and the audience on Saturday was kind of dead, but there was a big and really reactive audience on Sunday, so we went out on a good note. And the cast party last night was awesome, just hanging out and eating at someone's house, with some attempts at carnival games thrown in. I had fun hanging out with the crazy teenagers. I'm a bit sad that it's over, but I'm also glad to have free weekends again and not to have to drive all the way out there as often.

I really want to take a road trip. I don't even care where, I'd be totally fine just driving randomly and seeing where I end up. Unfortunately, my sister starts school in a week and a half, and before then we'll be going up to Chico and Tahoe, and I wouldn't want to go by myself. Sigh. Maybe next summer. I also wish we could go rafting, but time is running out for that as well. Oh well.

Um, Hi...

So I haven't posted in over a month. Whoops. Maybe I was busy with rehearsals? I wasn't actually cast as a villain, I was cast as a character who quotes Shakespeare constantly and turns out to be someone important at the end of the show. My sister ended up dropping out because she didn't like her character, wasn't crazy about the cast, and didn't want to be tied up in rehearsals all summer. I don't have a terribly large part, though. I guess this is probably a good thing, because if nothing else changes I'll have missed five shows by the end of the run... I had to go to my cousin's wedding on opening night (second opening night at this theater that I've had to miss due to a family wedding) and I was sick yesterday and ended up not going because it was stressing me out too much (I've had a cold for like a week. How does that even happen in July?). I made the matinee today, couldn't really hear out of one ear because it was stuffed up and kept running back to the dressing room for Kleenex, but apparently it was our best show yet.

And I got an email saying that a counselor had dropped out last minute for week 1 of Sugarloaf and asking if I could fill in. I said yes, because FUCK YEAH SUGARLOAF and it would be an actual job/good opportunity and I really wanted to do it, but it means I'll be missing three shows. I'm so grateful they'll be able to find someone, but I do feel really guilty for missing so many shows. Not regretting doing the show, though, because it's given me something productive to do with my summer and I've been enjoying it, despite all the frustrations (such as "dear lord our villain is terrible" and "how many of these people have even been in a melodrama before"). But this has been the most accident-prone cast I've ever been a part of. The lead heroine broke her ankle and is on crutches for the show, and apparently got an infection or something in her foot on Friday and was in the ER. The gypsy fortuneteller injured her knee and was using a cane for half of rehearsals. Last week one of our heroes smashed his face on the bottom of a pool during a pool party and we had to call in an emergency understudy. And then I was out sick yesterday. I won't be the only one missing shows, either, based on the calendar. It's been kind of crazy.

Catching up with things mentioned last time- I did see the Avengers. It was awesome. My sister, dad, and I went up to Tahoe in June to spend a few days enjoying the outdoors, planning to ride bikes and go fishing and maybe go hiking or canoeing. Instead, it snowed. Started as rain, but we got a good two inches. It was in the twenties outside. We were freezing in our cabin with only a fireplace for heat, all huddled under blankets and layers watching movies. We went to the movies when we realized it was raining. I also saw Dark Shadows, when my sister and I went to our grandma's house to go to the Chico fair, got tired, and went to the movies instead of staying until the fair closed. That was a crazy weekend, because I had woken up at like six the morning of the fair to drive up from San Jose, where I'd been for Fanime.

Fanime was great! Different than I expected, because there was a lot less going to panels and such (I only went to one panel and it was about Homestuck) and a lot more plopping down on the floor in spontaneous gatherings of Homestucks. Cosplaying was fun. I was an airship pirate the first day (during which we got a much later start than I'd anticipated and spent something like three hours waiting in line to get in even though we had pre-registered- apparently it was slow all weekend because there was a blackout on Thursday that prevented them from admitting a bunch of pre-reg people). I was also Pirate Dave (from Homestuck) the first day. I was Dave most of the weekend, with a brief foray as Tonks. I was just bummed that the steampunk convention going on at the same time wasn't located closer, and that I had to leave instead of being there for the last day. I think I might've been more tempted to buy stuff/go to panels etc. if it had been, say, a comics or fantasy convention, because anime isn't really my thing. It was great getting to catch up with my friends after a month of summer, and getting to run around being a dork with them again. Also, wow, the Homestuck meetup was enormous. Just waves of people crossing the street one after the other to get to the park where we were meeting. Then a group of us went out for ice cream afterward, which was awesome. It was hilarious- after Fanime, I suddenly had a bunch more followers on Tumblr and my dash became much more Homestuck-filled.

What else have I been up to? Well, the 4th of July was on Wednesday. My family was planning to go up to Tahoe, but the boat was having issues and none of us were feeling super strongly about it, so we ended up staying home. We saw the fireworks in Placerville (a first for me) and actually had excellent seats. We were so close we could hear them shooting off the fireworks. My only complaint is that at times it was really bright and sort of overwhelming when a bunch went off at once. Then we saw Brave on Thursday, which was actually pretty awesome, and I bought a bunch of stuff for Sugarloaf at Michael's. I'm going to make my cabin vaguely nautical-themed and everyone gets a bandanna to wear at orientation. We're probably going to look a bit like pirates. My bandanna has skulls and crossbones on it. My sister kind of laughed at me for deciding to make my campers pirates. She dissuaded me from making the cabin Batman-themed, though. Wow, Sugarloaf is in less than a week. I need to get my TB test done soon, better find out if I need an appointment for that... Good thing I got fingerprinted right away, or else I wouldn't be able to work.

So Sugarloaf looks like it'll be my only actual job this summer. I've been working for my parents, mostly my dad, which is... not ideal, but not that bad. They pay me really well ($10/hour, because it's a nice round number) and the work isn't too bad. Gives me gas money, at least, since they're making me pay for my own gas due to not wanting to pay for me to drive to Coloma and back all the time for the play.

Well, I think I've about covered the most prominent parts of my summer so far (I guess it's a bit over halfway done by this point). Hopefully I'll update sooner next time.

Yay Summer

So my day today was not exceptional. Mostly I slept in, read a lot, and then went to auditions for another circus-themed melodrama (the sequel to the one I was in last year). The auditions were a bit boring, there were a lot more people than I expected and a lot of characters to have everyone read for. There will be more auditions tomorrow where we actually put people together for scenes and stuff. There were a lot of girls about middle school/late elementary age and only one male (in a play with 3/4 parts that definitely need to be male and some others that were supposed to be but are flexible). That bit was sort of disappointing, since it's more fun being in shows with older people. I hope they get more guys for tomorrow.

I ended up reading for parts I hadn't considered (since no one else/only one other person was going up for them due to the lack of guys) and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to get one of the strictly female roles, since there are more than enough girls to play them. I can totally do a guy character. My sister thinks I'd be best in one of the villain roles, and I'd love to be a villain again. It's pretty awesome that we're finally doing a play together again (it's been four years since the last one). It'll be interesting to see what happens tomorrow.

I considered writing this post yesterday (sans audition stuff) because I had a pretty good day and wanted to write it down so I could remember it all. After lounging around a bit in the morning, my sister and I went out to shop (mostly for necessities/not clothes since we shop for clothes practically every time we see each other) and to hang out. At Wal Mart, she got a cow Pillow Pet and I got a Scooby Doo shirt, since I can't find the one I bought a few months ago and have no idea whether or not I lost it somewhere. I like the new one better, anyway. We strolled around downtown Placerville, which is always cool, and there happened to be a car show going on, so we got to see a bunch of cool old cars. We didn't buy much, but it was still fun to walk around and stare at all the awesome overpriced stuff we wouldn't actually buy. We went to this really neat old fashioned candy store (which reminds me of Honeydukes because I am a nerd) and sampled some fudge and bought interesting soda in glass bottles (she got vanilla creme Faygo- which made me laugh because Homestuck- and I got butterscotch root beer which was actually really good) and then found a reasonably priced cafe and had sandwiches and potato salad in the shade at a little table by a river. It was a bit warm for my taste outside, but it was still fun. And I dressed classy (bow tie and all) for about the first time since the heat hit, which was nice and which she liked because I didn't look "like a hobo."

In not-so-fun news, I have still not seen the Avengers. It is a travesty. I also have not seen Dark Shadows, which I would like to because Johnny Depp, Tim Burton, and vampires. I don't care that Tim Burton is increasingly lacking in creativity in all of his films, because Johnny Depp is a vampire and how is that not awesome? Also I've been stressing about job stuff (namely that I don't have one, don't really want one, but feel that I should get one even though I don't know where to apply that I would like to work, and feel bad because I'd only be able to stay for like two and a half months and then have to just quit or something). Anyway, it sure has been nice being on summer break a month before my sister haha.

Of Feeling Conflicted

Hm, I've been feeling conflicted lately. I think the initial joy of being on vacation has started to wear off and I sort of wish I could be back at school. But I don't want to go to classes or have homework, necessarily, I think it's more that I want space to myself/away from my parents again. Which is kind of weird, because at first I was enjoying being able to spend more time with family. I still do, and it is nice in a way to be at home, but I feel like they're judging me or something. For not doing much, being on the computer a lot, sleeping in late etc. My sister is sort of a different case. I love hanging out with her and we have a lot of fun together, but I feel like she really pressures me to be girlier, like she is. Which... no. No thanks. Right now I'm at my grandma's house, which is good for giving me some time away, but kind of boring because there's not as much on TV and I'm more limited in being able to drive places (I'd have to borrow a car and I don't know where anything is).

I know my dad really thinks I should get a job, and I probably should, but I'm conflicted about that too. I'd love to have more money, and I need the work experience. It would give me something to do and get me out of the house, give me some space from family. But I don't know what sort of jobs to look for, nobody's probably hiring anyway, and they probably wouldn't want to hire me. Also I'm kind of iffy about having time commitments tying up my summer. Not that I have anything else planned, or know what else I would do if I wasn't working, but still.

I really want to go on a road trip. I think that would be awesome. Or just go up to Tahoe for a bit. Get away, do something different and exciting. Idk. I'm going to Fanime with friends in about a week, so maybe that'll help satisfy my desire for excitement. Hopefully the whole summer won't be like this.

(Also, note: it's not a good idea to wear new shoes with thin socks on a 20-30 minute walk up the road with no backup plan for if you start to get blisters. Ouch.)
Because I am a giant nerd, I've submitted an app to sorting_elite. Now to try to motivate myself to keep active in that community! At least all I really have to do to stay active is sort, which isn't so bad. Anyway, hopefully this will help clear up my Pottermore sorting obsession, by giving a bunch of strangers the opportunity to hear me talk about myself in great detail and give an opinion supported by more than just multiple choice questions. We'll see how it goes!

The Annual Birthday Post

So today was my birthday. Happy Birthday, me. I guess this was kind of a big one, since now I'm a legal adult, but it doesn't really seem like such a big deal to me, I guess. I've already been through my first year of college and living away from home, taking care of myself, and all that. Now I just don't have to feel awkward around my friends for still being a minor. I don't feel any different from yesterday, when I was still 17. But it does feel pretty weird to think that I'm officially an adult now. I guess I don't feel like an adult, either, since my experience living away from home has been pretty sheltered actually, living in a dorm and having a steady supply of dining hall food. And now I'm at home for the summer, and being back at home always makes me feel younger than being at school.

Well, at least I had a pretty chill day. No one was home much since it was a weekday, but I finished the first Mercy Thompson book (probably sparking the first in another summer spree of books that I go through quickly- a fair number of them urban fantasy books) and the most recent season of the UK Being Human. Watched two episodes last night and four today haha. And I remembered how much I really like that show. And... I'll probably be dreaming about werewolves tonight, possibly vampires. Anyway, I got some cool presents and we went out to dinner (Olive Garden). It was all cool.

I should be writing an essay right now

I'm tired of all the hate on Pottermore Confessions for people who make multiple accounts. Yes, they should delete all but one account because that's in the Terms of Use policy and it's not fair to houses to have a bunch of inactive members. But if they get a house they're really not comfortable with and make a new account to get resorted, why should that be an issue? People have been calling it cheating or stupid, but it's not. Pottermore is just an online game and there's no use playing if you're not happy where you are. Besides, the sorting hat quiz isn't perfect. It's only seven questions long and favoring water over forests could mean the difference between Slytherin and Gryffindor depending on what set of questions you get. It is kind of cheating if you don't answer honestly to try to get a particular house, but I don't see a problem if you retake it because you got a house you're not suited to at all just because you had bad luck with questions.

I've also seen comments telling people that creating multiple accounts is bad because it'll just make you more confused if you get a different house or different houses each time. I saw this first in comments to my submission about being torn between loyalties for Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, where people were telling me it was my own fault for not taking what I got the first time since I was happy with it. I've been on the defensive about multiple accounts/retaking the quiz since. Yes, it is my fault that I took it again and got confused when I got a different house. But it's because I got the same different house three times, not just once. If it had been just once I would've passed it off as a fluke. Also, I realized after reading analysis of the questions that my first sorting didn't make much sense. Based on what I recall of my answers, I should not have been in Hufflepuff and I probably should've been in Ravenclaw, or some other house, because from what I remember I really only had one clearly Hufflepuff answer.

Besides, I didn't make a new account just to retake the sorting quiz to see what would happen (that was only for the second two sortings). The first time was because I had seen people on Tumblr going through it for the first time and I convinced my friends to sign up so we could all start from the beginning together. I kind of wanted to relive the experience, and also to see if my previous wand/sorting held up. My wand wood stayed the same, but obviously my house didn't. I'm kind of treating the first sorting as though it really was my first, because I'd had months in between even logging onto the site and I hadn't thought about the questions in advance or anything. I really tried to take it fresh. Maybe it's true that I've become more of a Gryffindor. I've definitely always had a bit in me, though not as clearly as Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, and I had several people tell me I had Gryffindor potential when I was mad about sorting/stamping communities last year. I do admire the qualities. But I'm still unsure, so I'm going to submit an app to Sorting Elite to see where I really belong when given the chance to talk about myself at length. It's maybe not a good idea to sign up for another sorting community when I've been falling into inactivity in HiH again, but it will be summer soon and I'll have tons of free time, so I think I can handle it.

Speaking of which, it's finals week. It sucks. I had a presentation and final papers due already, and next week I have two finals and an essay due. The essay is almost halfway done and is due Tuesday. One of my finals is for the class with the awful in-class essay exams, though this one shouldn't be quite so bad since we have nearly double the time to write. The other final is French, which wouldn't be so bad except that I have to memorize an interview and write an in-class composition in addition to the verb test. I will be so glad when I don't have anything else due.

But it's really bizarre that I'm almost done with my first year of college. It's also bizarre that I'll have about four months of summer. Last night I had a bit of a study break singing Disney songs around the fire pit thing (and, briefly, in the fountain). It was amazing, and this is why I love college, but I'm a bit sad because I won't get to do all these insane things with my friends all summer. Although I will be living with some of them next semester, so that's a definite plus.

(Also, turns out the person I had a crush on at the beginning of the year has had a crush on me since maybe December. Now that the confession has been made, we're in the weird awkward stage of "what now?". I'm like, "Why didn't you tell me earlier, we could have worked this all out and have gotten somewhere by now." But it's almost summer, and there's finals to worry about, and then we'll be living like two hours away for the summer (which isn't so bad, really, but still not the same as both living on campus and seeing each other nearly every day). God, I don't know. Why is romance so hard?)

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